Do You Really Need Custom Wedding Invitations?
In today's world there is no shortage of wedding invitation resources. Minted, Zazzle, Shine Weddings, Zola, The Knot, Wedding Wire... just to name a few. Yet, somehow the invitations remain the most complicated and stressful part of wedding planning. The reason for that is wedding invitations are like finger prints. Every single person who has ever gotten married in the entire world has a different wedding invitation. A different name, different date, and different parents. Many of the websites like the ones I mentioned above have built a library of beautiful templates to choose from. Although they position themselves as customizable, there is only so much customizing that can be done to a template. As a graphic designer and recent bride myself, it is seemingly unrealistic to position wedding invitations as a one size fits all. Before you make any commitments, ask yourself a few questions before settling on a wedding invitation.
On a scale of 1-5, 1 being you don't care at all and 5 being you were born to be like Emily Post, how important is wedding etiquette to you? If you chose anything above a 2, you probably need to work with a designer.
On a scale of 1-5, 1 being you don't care at all and 5 being you want to your invitations to be permanent fixtures in your friends homes, how important is quality to you? If you chose anything above a 3, you probably need to work with a designer.
First let's talk about quality.
One of the things that has stood out to me when ordering any type of invitations from certain websites is the lack of transparency about quality of the product. Many websites will say 100lb cardstock as a base, but allow you to upgrade to 120 lb or "double thick". Does anybody really know what that means? Double thick compared to what? This frustrates me as a consumer and I'm familiar with paper types, weights etc. In my personal opinion, 100 lb cardstock might as well be copy paper when it comes to an invitation. A wedding invitation should be solid and strong but upgrading paper quality takes your cost from $1.60/piece to $9.35. I'm not even exaggerating. That's a game changer when you need 200 invitations, 200 details cards, 200 RSVP cards and 2 sets of envelopes. It's important to know what you are getting and ordering a sample can put you in a time crunch.
Outside of paper, there are elements that can take your invitation to the next level. Here's a brief overview of the most common types of print.
Digital/Flat Print - Most commonly used for basic party invitations. Basically just ink on paper.
Foil Press/Letterpress - A print method where a die, similar to a metal stamp, is used to literally press a design into a thick paper with a pantone ink or foil. This is by far the most expensive method of print as the paper quality must be extremely high, often made of cotton.
Embossing - Just like the above but backwards. A die is used to raise the design instead of press it into the paper.
Spot UV - Spot UV is a decently new technology used on coated paper. It's a digital process that uses UV light to print metallics or clear gloss, making it an affordable alternative to a foil press.
All of these methods have pros and cons. Digital/flat printing is cheap and works great for watercolor on a nice, textured paper, but can look very much like a 9 year old's birthday party invitation without the right artwork and quality paper. Foil/letterpress and embossing are classic and timeless, but harder to do for the average person seeing as most people don't have a Pantone swatch book or the ability to provide vector artwork. Spot UV allows for a modern and cost effective approach to any design, but typically a designer is still needed as this process requires 2 sets of artwork, therefore it is not typically available on most wedding websites.
At the end of the day, wedding invitations are going to be expensive. Often times, these websites have to pay the artist every time their design is chosen. So essentially, no matter where you get invitations from, your still paying a designer. Why not get something specifically designed for you?
Now, lets talk about the rules.
One thing I have noticed about these beautiful minimalist design suites advertised on social media is that most of them are not designed for American weddings. As eye catching as they might be, many of them appear to be Canadian. I don't know much about wedding etiquette in Canada, but I do know it's not the same as it is here in the South. As most of you know Emily Post devoted her life to the rules surrounding how a wedding invitation should read. There are even rules for breaking the rules. I'm going to walk through the standard rule of thumb for design purposes only as these things can change a design entirely. As much as you may love the look of that minimalist invitation you saved on Instagram, your specific situation could make it not so minimalist. It's important to note that everyone's situation is different and it's ok to take a less traditional route. Some things are more important than others, but if wedding etiquette is a priority to you, it's necessary to note these things before ordering invitations. A custom invitation may be the answer for you.
Part 1 of a Wedding Invitation
Invitations start with acknowledging the generosity of the host. In other words whoever is paying for the wedding. Traditionally, it's the brides parents. Below are some common scenarios. Before making a decision it's important to consider other people's feelings as these situations can be touchy.
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Formal name listed on top line.
Mr. & Mrs. James William Smith, Junior
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Both parents and spouses if applicable are listed on separate lines beginning with the bride's mother
Mrs. Elizabeth Ann Green
Mr. & Mrs. William Smith, Junior
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I have experience with this one. List them all on 3 lines. Mom on top, Dad and stepmom on the 2nd, ex-husband on the 3rd.
Mrs. Elizabeth Ann Green
Mr. & Mrs. William Smith, Junior
Mr. George Allen Green
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List all names on separate lines or say
"together with their families".
Note that this phrase is widely used on many of the wedding invitation websites I mentioned above. It generally implies that the bride and groom are paying for their entire wedding. If that is not the case, the use of this phrase could lead to a misconception that you are having a very informal wedding, or that the bride's parents may not be supportive of the wedding.
Part 2 of a Wedding Invitation
The 2nd part of the invitation is your call to action, meaning... “we invite you to come see me in my incredible dress, tell me how great I look, and we will buy your beer and food for the next few hours”.
The host names
(cordially, joyfully, etc) request the _______
“The honor of your presence” is traditionally used to denote a religious service held in a church or other place of worship. Some people prefer to spell “honour” using the British spelling; both are correct but spelling it with a “u” implies an even more formal feel. (Note: If you’re using “honour” on the invitation, you should match it with “favour” as in “favour of your reply” on the RSVP card.)
“The pleasure of your company” (or variations on this) is used to denote a non-religious ceremony.
Part 3 of a Wedding Invitation
The 3rd part is by far the most important thing to watch out for when choosing invitations. Out of all these rules, this is THE MOST important.
Part 3 of the invitation is the bride and grooms names. Traditionally the bride's first and middle name are used with the groom's full name. For example: Ashley Nicole and/to James William Smith. This is because the bride's last name is preceded by her parents in the host line. In some situations, like when using "together with their families" or the bride's name differs from the host/s, then the bride would use her full name. The groom should always use his full name. Using first names only is acceptable for a bride's second wedding. So, when you see an invitation that you like on social, look at the names. If the example says "Sara & Todd" but your name is Susannah Elizabeth, more than likely that's not going to work.
Additionally, the use of the word "to" between the bride and grooms names indicates a Christian wedding. The word "and" indicates a Jewish wedding, unless the bride and groom are hosting their wedding without the support of their parents. If this is something that matters to you, this is important to note because many templates don't allow this line to be customized.
Part 4 of a Wedding Invitation
The last part of the invitation is the date, time and location. I feel that this is one of the rules that is seemingly more important than some of the others, which makes it surprising that many wedding websites show differently. These should be spelled out and on separate lines. Not abbreviated. This includes numbers in the date and time.
Saturday, the twenty-fourth of April
two thousand twenty-one
at half past 5 o'clock in the evening
Venue Name
123 Wedding Lane
Wherever City, State 13254
In closing, as you continue to search for that perfect invitation, keep these things mentioned above in mind. Please don't settle. It's your day! There are resources (like me) that can take bits and pieces of things that inspire you and create something that can't be bought on a website. Together we can explore fonts, color schemes and graphics that make it yours. As a small business, I have access to different resources and a variety of vendors that larger companies don't/can't work with. This allows me to coordinate all the moving parts independently to get you exactly what you want and stay with in your budget parameters.